Perspective

     Lately I've been thinking a lot about parenting. I have three young children, (ages 7, 4 and 3) and right now they are giving me a run for my money. My husband and I launched our own LIFE Leadership business this past December and with that has come a lot of great things, but it has also kept us (my husband especially) very busy.
     My husband still works full time at his job, and then builds our business in whatever spare time he can find. This leaves me a home alone with the kids a lot, and some weeks I'm just tired.
     Finding the time to write my novels is not as easy as I'd like, so I find myself constantly juggling my responsibilities and trying to figure out what I really need to be doing with my time. There are things I'd prefer to be doing, but then there are the things I know are more important. My children are a priority, so I'm trying to find ways to be a better mom and teach them the things they need to know to do well in this crazy thing called life.
     With LIFE Leadership we have been blessed to get our hands onto awesome information (talks on cd's & amazing books) to help us in all the 8 F's of life (Faith, Family, Finance, Fitness, Following aka Leadership, Freedom, Friends, and Fun). I absolutely love listening to the speakers who have been through the trenches, succeeded and now share ways to help me to become better in those areas.
     So like I said, recently I've been trying to become better in parenting my children. This is an on going process, obviously, and I am far from perfect. There is one talk that I listen to when I need some perspective and a little push to do better called "S.L.O.W." by Lindsey Spiewak. In her talk she reads a poem that really pulls at my heartstrings each time I hear it. I found it online today and thought I'd share. It comes from the book: Let Me Hold You Longer, by Karen Kingsbury.

Long ago you came to me,
a miracle of firsts,
First smiles and teeth and baby steps,
a sunbeam on the burst.

But one day you will move away
and leave to me your past
And I will be left thinking of
a lifetime of your lasts…

The last time that I held a bottle
to your baby lips
The last time that I lifted you
and held you on my hip.

The last night when you woke up crying,
needing to be walked,
When last you crawled up with your blanket,
wanting to be rocked.

The last time when you ran to me,
still small enough to hold.
The last time that you said you’d marry
me when you grew old.

Precious, simple moments and
bright flashes from your past-
Would I have held on longer if
I’d known they were your last?

Our last adventure to the park,
your final midday nap,
The last time when you wore your favorite
faded baseball cap.

Your last few hours of kindergarten,
those last few days of first grade,
Your last at bat in Little League,
last colored picture made.

I never said good-bye to all
your yesterdays long passed.
So what about tomorrow-
will I recognize your lasts?

The last time that you catch a frog
in that old backyard pond.
The last time that you run barefoot
across our fresh-cut lawn.

Silly, scattered images
will represent your past.
I keep on taking pictures,
never quite sure of your lasts…

The last time that I comb your hair
or stop a pillow fight.
The last time that I pray with you
and tuck you in at night.

The last time when we cuddle
with a book, just me and you
The last time you jump in our bed
and sleep between us two.

The last piano lesson,
last vacation to the lake.
Your last few weeks of middle school,
last soccer goal you make.

I look ahead and dream of days
that haven’t come to pass.
But as I do, I sometimes miss
today’s sweet, precious lasts…

The last time that I help you with
a math or spelling test.
The last time when I shout that yes,
your room is still a mess.

The last time that you need me for
a ride from here to there.
The last time that you spend the night
with your old tattered bear.

My life keeps moving faster,
stealing precious days that pass,
I want to hold on longer-
want to recognize your lasts…

The last time that you need my help
with details of a dance.
The last time that you ask me for
advice about romance.

The last time that you talk to me
about your hopes and dreams.
The last time that you wear a jersey
for your high school team.

I’ve watched you grow and barely noticed
seasons as they pass.
If I could freeze the hands of time,
I’d hold on to your lasts.

For come some bright fall morning,
you’ll be going far away.
College life will beckon
in a brilliant sort of way.

One last hug, one last good-bye,
one quick and hurried kiss.
One last time to understand
just how much you’ll be missed.

I’ll watch you leave and think how fast
our time together passed.
Let me hold on longer, God,
to every precious last.

(This is a picture that my 4 year old daughter drew of our family... Including our cat... I know I'm going to miss these kinds of pictures.)

We only have a few short years with our children in the grand scheme of things. Most of their lives we will know them as adults, and we need to remember (even when it's really hard) that it is a gift to know them how they are as children.

Things Are Not Always As They Appear

In this modern age that we live in we are constantly surrounded by media and all forms of technology. We get online and can see exactly what the people in the world around us are doing (or at least what they want us to see).

Many women take a hit to their self-esteem every time they look at blogs, check Facebook, or look on pinterest. They see all the good things other people do and feel inadequate when they can barely manage to get a shower in after staying up with a baby all night.

When we compare ourselves to everyone like that, we forget that we are only seeing the side of people they choose to put online. Of course they would choose to post about the fun outing they had with their kids, or the delicious dinner they just made, or the project that they just completed. We want to put our best foot forward, and no one would be inspired by a post about how a mom just got her three screaming children to bed and lost her temper in the process.

When we go online we need to realize that things are not always as they appear. Not all people are being 100% authentic, they may not be posting about everything that has gone on in their day. They simply choose to post about the things they found noteworthy and wanted to look back on and remember with fondness one day.

I'm not saying that we need to post all the negative things in our life as well as the positive. I'm just saying that when we do go online we need to realize that everyone has their own struggles in life, and we can't compare our worst day with someone else's best day.

We as humans naturally compare ourselves to others. I myself have done that many times.
When we stand next to someone who is thinner than us, we are very aware of the extra weight that we carry around. But in contrast, when we am standing next to someone who is very overweight, we suddenly feel like we are doing pretty well size wise.
When we are standing next to someone who is very successful and seems to have everything together, we feel inferior. But when we are in the company of someone who is going through a rough patch, we are better able to see the good things that we have in our lives.

We need to stop comparing ourselves to others. Instead of looking online we need to look in the mirror. We need to strive to become a better person today than we were yesterday.
We need to be our best selves and not worry about how we compare to others.

Homework

This is how my 6 year old answered this question for his reading homework tonight. 

Gotta love kids! (I just hope his teacher laughs too.)

I'm Querying

I love to write. I actually started writing YA novels two years ago and love it! I finished my first novel last year and am in the middle of querying agents, which exciting, scary, nerve-wracking, time consuming and taking forever.
Sure I can write a novel just fine (ok, it is hard work), but writing a query letter and a synopsis is so much more stressful. At least with a book you have 86,000 words to get your story just right. Trying to fit all its amazying-ness onto one page on the other hand... yikes! It makes my brain hurt... literally.
But with the help of a few other writers I think I may have a query letter worth reading now. As for the synopsis... well I'm still working on that.
Are there any other writers out there? If you have any advice to give a fellow writer on the querying process please leave a comment. I'd love to hear what you have to say!

Yes, we have it out for you!

I have a two year old little boy who has been getting a bit of an attitude lately. Last week my family went camping with my in-laws. One morning while we were camping my two year old was wearing a sweatshirt, but not the one that he wanted to wear. He wanted to wear his Curious George jacket which was in the tent. He wanted my husband or me to go get it for him, but we didn't want to since he already had a jacket on. (And who really wants to walk all the way over to the tent when you are sitting by a nice warm fire.) 

So my boy decided to get his jacket himself. Too bad he headed over to the wrong tent. He went over to my sister-in-law's tent instead. We tried to tell him that it wasn't our tent, but he didn't want to listen to us, he was determined to get that beloved jacket.

So he opened up the tent, went inside and looked around. A second later he yelled out the door in the orneriest little voice "Where's my stuff!!" He was so sure that we were trying to play a trick on him by hiding his stuff.

It was soooooo funny! A short while later he came trudging back and gave up on finding his jacket.

Enjoying the Moment

Today when I dropped my oldest boy off to kindergarten I watched as he walked to his classroom. Before he reached his classroom door to go inside, I saw him stop. 

He just stood at the corner of the school, wearing his coat with the hood pulled up over his head. I wondered what he was doing, and when he would decide to actually go on in to class.

He stood there for about 30 seconds before I noticed what he was standing in that spot for. He had discovered the rain gutter leaking drips of water onto the ground and decided to enjoy it. 

There was my boy, standing under the water getting soaked, while parents and other students walked by him wondering what he was doing. 

I just had to laugh. He is such a funny kid. It is fun to see the enjoyment that kids find from little things that the rest of us just pass by in our hurry to move to the next task.

Did You Wash Your Hands?

My daughter is 3 and has been potty-trained for about 6 months. A couple weeks ago she decided that to save time she would either skip washing her hands altogether, or just quickly splash them under running water and avoid the soap and scrubbing.
Being the wonderful, and observant mother that I am, I noticed what she was doing. I, of course, didn't want to see her get sick from the gross pee germs on her hands, so I started asking her every time after she used that bathroom if she washed her hands. She would of course answer yes. My next question would be "Did you use soap?" She didn't really like that question and would answer my question with silence.

With that response I then ask her to please go back and wash her hands with soap, which she does... with just a little complaining.

We have been through this charade many times this week and I think that it is finally getting ingrained into her. Now she just comes right out and says, "I washed my hands, with soap." and the usual discussion is not necessary.

Today after I came out of the bathroom I came out to find her sitting on the floor by the bathroom door. She then asked: "Did you wash your hands?"

Me: "Yes, of course I washed my hands."

Daughter: "Did you really? I didn't hear the sound." (the sound of water coming from the faucet)

It's funny to see her trying to catch me and get me in trouble for a change. And Yes, in case you are wondering, I really did wash my hands, she just must not have been listening closely enough to hear the water running. :)