My husband still works full time at his job, and then builds our business in whatever spare time he can find. This leaves me a home alone with the kids a lot, and some weeks I'm just tired.
Finding the time to write my novels is not as easy as I'd like, so I find myself constantly juggling my responsibilities and trying to figure out what I really need to be doing with my time. There are things I'd prefer to be doing, but then there are the things I know are more important. My children are a priority, so I'm trying to find ways to be a better mom and teach them the things they need to know to do well in this crazy thing called life.
With LIFE Leadership we have been blessed to get our hands onto awesome information (talks on cd's & amazing books) to help us in all the 8 F's of life (Faith, Family, Finance, Fitness, Following aka Leadership, Freedom, Friends, and Fun). I absolutely love listening to the speakers who have been through the trenches, succeeded and now share ways to help me to become better in those areas.
So like I said, recently I've been trying to become better in parenting my children. This is an on going process, obviously, and I am far from perfect. There is one talk that I listen to when I need some perspective and a little push to do better called "S.L.O.W." by Lindsey Spiewak. In her talk she reads a poem that really pulls at my heartstrings each time I hear it. I found it online today and thought I'd share. It comes from the book: Let Me Hold You Longer, by Karen Kingsbury.
Long ago you came to me,
a miracle of firsts,
First smiles and teeth and baby steps,
a sunbeam on the burst.
But one day you will move away
and leave to me your past
And I will be left thinking of
a lifetime of your lasts…
The last time that I held a bottle
to your baby lips
The last time that I lifted you
and held you on my hip.
The last night when you woke up crying,
needing to be walked,
When last you crawled up with your blanket,
wanting to be rocked.
The last time when you ran to me,
still small enough to hold.
The last time that you said you’d marry
me when you grew old.
Precious, simple moments and
bright flashes from your past-
Would I have held on longer if
I’d known they were your last?
Our last adventure to the park,
your final midday nap,
The last time when you wore your favorite
faded baseball cap.
Your last few hours of kindergarten,
those last few days of first grade,
Your last at bat in Little League,
last colored picture made.
I never said good-bye to all
your yesterdays long passed.
So what about tomorrow-
will I recognize your lasts?
The last time that you catch a frog
in that old backyard pond.
The last time that you run barefoot
across our fresh-cut lawn.
Silly, scattered images
will represent your past.
I keep on taking pictures,
never quite sure of your lasts…
The last time that I comb your hair
or stop a pillow fight.
The last time that I pray with you
and tuck you in at night.
The last time when we cuddle
with a book, just me and you
The last time you jump in our bed
and sleep between us two.
The last piano lesson,
last vacation to the lake.
Your last few weeks of middle school,
last soccer goal you make.
I look ahead and dream of days
that haven’t come to pass.
But as I do, I sometimes miss
today’s sweet, precious lasts…
The last time that I help you with
a math or spelling test.
The last time when I shout that yes,
your room is still a mess.
The last time that you need me for
a ride from here to there.
The last time that you spend the night
with your old tattered bear.
My life keeps moving faster,
stealing precious days that pass,
I want to hold on longer-
want to recognize your lasts…
The last time that you need my help
with details of a dance.
The last time that you ask me for
advice about romance.
The last time that you talk to me
about your hopes and dreams.
The last time that you wear a jersey
for your high school team.
I’ve watched you grow and barely noticed
seasons as they pass.
If I could freeze the hands of time,
I’d hold on to your lasts.
For come some bright fall morning,
you’ll be going far away.
College life will beckon
in a brilliant sort of way.
One last hug, one last good-bye,
one quick and hurried kiss.
One last time to understand
just how much you’ll be missed.
I’ll watch you leave and think how fast
our time together passed.
Let me hold on longer, God,
to every precious last.
We only have a few short years with our children in the grand scheme of things. Most of their lives we will know them as adults, and we need to remember (even when it's really hard) that it is a gift to know them how they are as children.
